This page was inspired by George Carlin. I have
always thought George Carlin was a comic genious. He doesn't always tell
the funny jokes, he doesn't always tell the insulting jokes even though his
jokes do insult a lot of people, but George Carlin always tell you what he
is thinking. Fuck being Politically Correct, and fuck the people who
are offended. In reading a lot of his specials, and seeing a lot of
his stand up work. I am inspired. I have never been one to hide how
I felt, unless the expression of my thoughts would bring hard times and fighting
amongst loved ones. I have collected over 100 (ONE HUNDRED) topics
that I wish to talk about and give my opinion on. I am also going to
just let my balls hang out and sway in the wind with the "George Carlin Fuck
You If You Don't Like It Attitude". Some of the topics are Adult Oriented
and should not be viewed by minors. And here they are below in NO rank,
rhyme or reason. I will take it upon myself to add even more topics
as I think of them, there's no set number.
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Colors - My favorite color
is PURPLE, It is a color that represents Royalty
and Power. It is often associated with women or even the Homosexual
group, but that's bullshit to me. I hate fluorescent colors, and BLACK
or WHITE is NOT a color. Black is the absence of color, and WHITE
is the presence of ALL colors. Filter wise that is.
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Life
- I'll be 36 years old in June, and have
always enjoyed life for the most part. Everyone has some hard times,
and everyone has a heartfelt story about their life and where they come from.
Don't get me wrong I could actually give a FUCK about you and your
life. Just make sure you don't piss me off, or yours will end rather
short.
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Death - I believe in
reincarnation. I don't think after you die that's it. I have
had too many things happen to me, and have seen some incredible things that
indicate the continuance of your soul per se. I enjoy watching "Crossing
Over" with John Edwards. He is a medium and through him your family
that has passed on get out their message.
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Cars - I have always had a thing
for a PONTIAC. American Cars. I
would never own an Asian car even if you gave it to me, other than to trade
it in for the money right then and there. There is nothing in the
world like a G.T.O. I mean yes there are some German
made cars that can kick its ass, but that's a car. Corvette, Lamborghini, Porsche, Delorian, Mazaratti all deserve to be mentioned even
though I have probably bastardized their spelling.
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People - Believe it or not, I am
a people person. I can bullshit damn near anyone! I am not one
to hate people for their gender or race see #6 after this one. I just don't fucking like ANYONE. Stay the fuck out of my way, and you wont hear
a peep out of me, unless I am driving behind you, then that's another TOPIC..
::laughs::
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Race - You're all probably
thinking I'm a prejudiced white boy because I have something against black
people. No, that's not true. I don't hate or dislike any RACE
at all. I do tend to be more stereotypical towards blacks simply because
they have always lived up to their classifications over and over again without
surprise. There are always some exceptions to the rule and black
individuals who stand out and become something. Notice how I don't
use the word NIGGER, because I am not prejudice. I thought I would
POINT that out.
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Politics
- Fuck
em, Kill them all. It is a god damn shame the Airplane that
hit the PENTAGON didn't hit where it should have, it might have wiped out
the Military Leaders. The House of Representatives and Senate should
all die. They are all worthless money grubbing lying pieces of shit. There
are BETTER candidates that we could chose to run this country. We need
to change Politics as we know it today.
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Sex
- Sex is great! Sex is
what makes the world go around! If they could put an Orgasm in a can,
they would be wicked filthy rich. I have only had a few partners in my
32 years. I have not always practiced safe sex, and
have even fucked a few pro's, , a few amateurs, popped a few cherries, but NOTHING in the world compares to
sex and oral sex alike.
Just do it.
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Religion - Religion is a very confused
topic here in the United States. This is a country that has freedom
of religion, and claims to have a separation of church and state, but EVERY
SINGLE PIECE of it's currency has "In God We
trust" on it. Of course you could take it as your own god, but
we know who they are referring to. I believe in Religious Tolerance and I have never burnt a church down. I just ask that you be as tolerant
with me when I decline your Magazine or time to talk, because if you don't...the
ramifications will change your life.
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Pets - I think pets are a good thing
for humans to have around. Sometimes those pets are other humans, but
not always. I am a Dog and Reptile lover. I have had my Rainbow
tailed BOA for 7 years now. I think Pets always give their owner a
sense of responsibility and some people even bond with their animals. It's
when the OWNER starts to LOOK LIKE their pet that it has gotten out of hand.
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Clothes - I have never
been a flashy or sheik dresser. I dress professionally at work, and
casually at home. When I go out I'd wear a button down and jeans with
some nice shoes. Even if I were a millionaire I would dress how ever
the fuck I wanted to without influence. I hate people that flash their
wealth, like most rappers out there. Be yourself and be happy with
your life, don't always try to impress some bitches by flashing your Gold.
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Friends - Friends are always a good
thing to have around if they are true friends and not Psychic Vampires. A
friend contributes to the relationship and is there for you no matter what.
If you want to walk around the grocery store at 3am barefoot, they
would be by your side doing the same. A Friend is something you have
till you die. I have a couple People I consider good friends. I
am proud to call them my friend.
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Serial Killers - I think Serial Killers
have made America a much more interesting place to live. It is true
that most of the serial killers in the United States have been
MIDDLE AGED SINGLE WHITE MEN like me. Coincidence?
I think not. M.A.S.W.M. are usually the
most educated, and yet insane with emotions. I had lived in Chicago
for 26 years and it spawned one of the biggest in John Wayne Gayce. I never
had the honor of knowing him, he liked the little boys something about a
gay man comes to mind. I've read a lot of good stuff on Serial Killers.
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Taxi Drivers
- These god damn people
amaze me, where in the fuck did they get their drivers license? From
a fucking CRACKER JACK BOX?!?!? I have never seen someone take a Left turn
from 4(four) lanes over to the right until I was working downtown and the towel head
cut us all off. I believe in taking advantage of someone's slow response
time when the light turns green, but that takes the cake.
They are the worst drivers in the world.
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Prostitutes - This is probably the
WORLDS OLDEST PROFESSION, and I want to thank
who the hell ever thought of it. There's been a few times when I was
out of town for weeks on end and hadn't had any ass. Give these people
a call, tell them what kind you want and she is on her way over. Young,
Old, Asian, Blonde, Fat, Thin, they have got them all to fit anyone's needs.
Just have about 3oo bucks handy to give the broad.
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Lesbians/Gay Men - When it comes
to sex, I think nothing in the world can come close to a pussy around my
cock. There's nothing more beautiful in the world than a
WOMAN. I don't have anything against lesbians
and gay men. To each his/her own I have always said. If the woman
wants to date another women because she is softer and more compassionate,
let her. If the guy wants the feeling of another mans cock in his ass,
the so be it. I don't enjoy the feeling of taking a shit, it always
hurts, so the thought of putting it in and leaving it there is different.
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Marriage - I have only come close
to being married one time, with Carol. I have never known anyone who was
married to be happy, and it almost never works out. There are a few
freak accidents and the couple met in High School and have been together
for 50 years. I don't know what to think about it really, I guess If I find the right woman I would be more than happy to settle down.
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Kids - I have one, he is going to be
19, born
in 88. I was at an Aerosmyth Concert!
I actually want to have another child if I can ever find a woman who
would give me one. I am not very good around kids, because I don't
have a lot of patience, but I am willing to try this. I wasn't able
to raise my son, don't even know him. I want one.
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Computers - They never stop getting
faster, and smaller and more fucking expensive. And by the time you
have enough money to pay for the one you want, well us middle working classed
people anyway, there is another computer out with more memory and a faster
processor. It is getting pretty fucking pathetic. I actually
think son the Artificial Intelligence will exist and we will fly around
everywhere like the JETSONS.
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The World Wide Web - Probably the
single most important thing to ever happen to the world to date. I
know Transportation has expanded the world, but the WWW has opened a million
more doors for anything and everything your little heart can desire. A
World of knowledge right at your fingertips if you know how to find it. It
is constantly growing and will be as common as socks sooner than we think.
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FOOTBALL
- And by FOOTBALL I mean
American Football, not some fucking pansy ass
shit where you run around all god damn day and don't use your hands. They
make me fucking sick. I want to see 11 men against 11 men attempting to move a pigskin down 100 yards and beat the shit out
each other in the process.
I am a HUGE SF 49ers Fan, and have always
liked Football. I thin Dallas sucks ass and is NOT America's Team.
blah.
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Weather
- My favorite season of them
all is Fall. I love the pretty colors the leaves turn, and everything
around is changing so much. I love it when it gets a little chilly
and rains. I like summer too, that's when the bikini's come out. The
winter time you can stay in and cuddle, and the flowers and all the nice
shit comes back in the spring. I have never been in a tornado, and
I think Thunder is sexy. Most women are pussies and scared of it.
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WAR - I am prior service, and am
in the process of re-enlisting. I support defense and the necessary
actions taken to strike back at offending countries.
We have recently been attacked in New York,
Washington D.C. and Pennsylvania on September 11, 2001. The
WAR that those stupid mother fuckers have brought onto themselves is something
they will never live past. I honestly do NOT think they had any idea
the MONSTER they pissed off.
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U.S.A. - The United States of America.
There is no other country like it. The land of the free and home
of the brave! ::laughs:: Fuck that bullshit. This is the
land of the take what you can before someone else takes it from you. I am
proud to be an American, but I have never had a fucking thing handed to me.
I will fight for her till I die if necessary, but god damn, throw a
man a bone every now and then.
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ARMY - As I stated 2 topics up, I
am prior service and going to re-enlist. The United States ARMY is
the OLDEST and the most advances Military in the world. I think China
has more NUMBERS, but those god damn zipper heads are a dime a dozen. I
have no problem with serving my country and think each and every child when
they get out of High School should be forced to serve two years, then go
on with their life.
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Movies - I LOVE going to the movies
and getting lost in someone else's world. I am a huge fan of HORROR
movies, and Stephen King, Dean Koontz, and Wes Craven are tops in their field!
Give me a bag of popcorn and a Mountain Dew for the show, and I am
in heaven. But do me one small favor, SHUT THE
FUCK UP DURING THE GOD DAMN MOVIE. I fucking hate when people
rattle their bags and talk through the movies.
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Candles
- Candles are very sexy.
I think they can make the difference in a room. I love the big
3 wicker scented oil ones that last forever. I had a few Maul berry
ones...mmm, very yummy. I think hot wax poured on your body is a very
sexy thing. Especially a woman's nipples and clit, her expression is
priceless!
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Birth Control
- I am Pro-Choice.
I believe it is the woman's choice to do what ever she wants with her
own child. I do not condone abortion as a means of birth control. There
are many reasons why a woman should NOT bring a child into this world such
as Financial Hardship, she is HIV+, or she was Raped... only three
examples.
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Abortion
- If you can not provide,
nurture, and care for the child the way it deserves to be...abort it. I
do NOT believe in adoption, I would HATE to think the stranger I just walked
past was mine and never got to know him/her. I know Abortion is a permanent
choice with MENTAL ramifications, but it is better for you to loose a couple
nights sleep than to put a child through the hell of living on the streets,
jail, or a shelter because of your poor choice.
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Disasters - I love Disasters. I
think Disasters shows man kind who really runs the show. We are only
here co-habitating it's surface. We are destroying this planet and
it wont be long before we have to move onto another rock and break it down.
The more people who DIE in a disaster the better as well. Wake
up call!
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Schools - The Educational Systems
in place here within the United States at the current time sucks ass. We
are considered to be THE Leader in Technology and The most POWERFUL Nation
in the world. We need to pay the damn teachers more, and focus more money
towards the children as opposed to feeding the god damn kids in other countries.
Lets help our own kids here first. Then if there's a crumb left, throw it
their way.
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Education - The United States is
NOT even ranked in the TOP 5 Nations as far as Education LEVEL. There are
countries where the students go to school ALL YEAR ROUND. We need to Implement
some sort of policy like that around here. Make the Education process available
to everyone and if they want to fuck off and do drugs, lock em up! Their
release from jail is conditional on getting a degree or diploma.
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Speed Limits - I don't think I have
EVER driven the Speed Limit. That's a CROCK OF SHIT! Speed limits are in place
so the grannies aren't scared shitless as people like me go ZIPPING by. I
lock the cruise control in at 5 mph above the Speed Limit to keep it safe
for the most part, but I hate people who only DO the Speed Limit.
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Drugs - I have NOTHING Against DRUGS
per se. I mean, If you're the fucking idiot going to put a foreign chemical
in your body, then by all means you deal with the consequences. Either you
die or end up in Jail due to the drug habit sooner or later. It is illegal
for a reason. I am all for alcohol and sex... better forms of entertainment.
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Alcohol - The Original DEMON! I drink
Beer on occasion, and every now and then have a shot of TEQUILA. I'm a lightweight
and don't really drink too much, a social drinker. I cant fucking stand
alcoholics, my Father is a fucking Alcoholic and I wont be around them.
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Popcorn - Who ever Invented POPCORN
is a GOD! I can not watch a MOVIE without some Popcorn and a Soda. I always
have to have the Buttered Corn and a little bit of Salt. Never watch a movie
without it, If you do, FUCK YOU, you suck.
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Gas Stations - Is there a fucking
law in this world that Gas Stations have to be run by towel heads??? I mean
come the fuck on. Every other god damn gas Station is run by a guy named Muhammad
and
they don't speak a fucking lick of English that's understandable. Get rid of
these fucking immigrants.
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Hackers - The Real Hero's. I have
never been able to Hack into anything in my life, but I respect these guys
for their abilities. I have friends who can, and I use them to do that stuff.
I'm not scared of a hacker, if they manage to get my SS# and Info and decide
to fuck everything up, it would only make it BETTER. MY CREDIT is already
FUCKED UP...Jokes on you!
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Knick Knacks - I fucking HATE knick
knacks. My mother has the little annoying things all over her damn house.
Most women do as a matter of fact. Cute little toys of porcelain or glass.
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The Government - The government is
your biggest enemy. They are always out to prevent you from doing whatever
it is you want to do. If uncle Sam doesn't get his cut, you wont get
away with it. The current governing body we have in place is a solid government, but corrupt people run this god damn country. If only the
current Satanists in the government would admit they are Satanists, we could
change the face of the government.
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Feminine Products - WAY TOO MUCH
FUCKING ADVERTISING ON TELEVISION. I mean god damn, we know the fucking
pussies have problems, and I am sure the fucking women know how to fix their
leaking or dry pussy, so lets get the fucking AD's off of the TV. This
shit bothers me more than CIGARETTE AD's.
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Traveling - I LOVE to travel. I
was a Field Service Engineer for a few years and was all over the United
States. I had a membership in almost every damn Strip Joint in the
Midwest States. I would go out and find an Outback Steakhouse or a
Hooters as soon as I flew into town. Hit a strip joint and if I didn't
bring one back to the hotel, I'd have a hell of a time at Hooters with those
big jugs all over the place. hmm, I always thought I was an ass man!
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Hunting - I am a Big City Boy, and NOT real big on Hunting. I know we all need to kill animals for
food, but some of those fucking rednecks actually get off in killing something.
Might have something to do with a lack of brain cells, or even a repressed
anger for being abused their entire life. I have never been out hunting,
sorry.
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Fishing - For the most part I actually
enjoy Fishing. It can be on of the most boring fucking things to do,
unless you have a 17 yr old redhead on the back of the boat with you to drool
over. ::laughs:: wait, that wasn't fishing, I think that was
water skiing, but anyway, I was on the back of a boat, and oh my god.
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Co-Workers - Fuck em if they can't
take a Joke, and Joke em if they don't give a Fuck! I have found that
the less you know about the people you work with, the better off you are.
I worked with a few fucking monkeys and they shocked me almost every
single day. One was in the 700 Club, some religious shit, and the other
was a Nigger on Kidney Transplant Medication. Two of the biggest fucking
losers I have ever met. Damn, I'm glad I was fired!!!
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Food - Something we very well can't
live without, and something all of you fat fucking people need to slow down
on. I believe in eating when you're hungry, but when you can no longer
see your fucking feet ...it is TIME TO STOP EATING. My favorite food
is Lasagna, and or ANYTHING Italian. Paste is food for the gods, and
I love it.
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1st Amendment
- I do believe in
Religious Tolerance, and have a lot of respect for the 1st Amendment.
Without the Freedom of speech, religion, and the pursuit of happiness
this Country would be fucked! I might not agree with your fucked up
ass backwards religions, but I will defend your right to have it with my
life. I am in the United States ARMY and it is my job. I wake up in
the morning to protect the life we have.
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Work/Job - If you give a shit about
your Country and your Economy, get a fucking job man! Get your lazy
fucking ass up and get the fuck off of welfare. Stop popping out those
state babies and make a living. It is nice to take a break for a couple
months after you were fired from your last job like I am right now, but you
need to get that job and bring some cash in, put food on the table. and
not by selling drugs you fucking losers.
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Prison - We have a problem here.
We have more people in Prison within the United States than most countries
do in their TOTAL POPULATION. We need to 86 these fucking losers and
stiffen up the Death Penalty. Fuck a second chance, if you're ass was
caught in the wrong place at the wrong time and you were ACCIDENTALLY charged
with murder, oops... fuck you. You should not complain because
85% of the time, they are right.
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Rednecks - The single most fucked
up class of people in the world. They fuck their own sister, pray
to a sky fairy, and look forward to hiding in bushes so they can blow the
face off of some helpless animals. What the fuck happened here?!??!
I have no clue man, get rid of these god damn morons.
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Gothic People - I know a chick who
is gothic, and believe me, she has spoiled me towards the rest of the women
in general. Fallon is so wicked hot it isn't even funny. If you
don't have a few piercing, dark makeup and like to play around in the Cemetery,
you might as well move on. For the most part I cant stand Goth people,
the guys are fucking complete fag submissive bitches and that's just wrong.
The women, if they are SKINNY are hot.
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Fat People - Should be shot on sight!
If you are 50+ lbs over weight, you need to die. I mean, lets
get real here people. The United States is the FATTEST fucking country
in the world. There are so many of you fat and lazy mother fuckers here
you actually find FAT to be socially acceptable now. THAT'S FUCKING
SICK. I dated a beautiful fat chick once on the premise she was working
out and would loose weight, I almost gagged when she would want me to go
down on here... I didn't want to move the fucking fat rolls to find
her preserved snatch!
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Gyms - Meat lockers would be a better
word for this place. If you are in great shape and need to go to a
Gym more than 4 times a week, there is something wrong with you. I
had a Membership at the gym, and I thought it was a complete joke, really.
I totally agree with the theory, Big Muscles = Small brains.
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Steroids - If you need to take drugs
to assist you in getting bigger while at the same time increasing the risk
of a heart attack and making your dick smaller, by all means buddy have at
it! ::laughs:: These people who use the drugs to enhance their
performance need some real mental health assistance also.
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Fire Arms - I am pro NRA. I
believe every single Red Blooded American should have a Fire Arm. Fuck
the Police, and the ass backwards Judicial System. Bring the times
back to Martial law and shoot any Mother Fucker who tries to wrong you or
your family. Then we will see who actually has the balls to be the
real hunters.
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Weapons - Weapons, especially the
high caliber ones are good. I'm not one for hunting, but I do believe
in self defense, and why play with a little .22, when you can have a
.44? If you want to stop someone, put a damn big whole in them, not
something that will piss them off even more. I like the current system
in place, background checks, no felons, etc... People should be able
to own a weapon.
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Magazines - I like Magazines.
I think I have grown out of the still image stage though, and if it's not
moving, it doesn't do it for me. Playboy, Penthouse, and FOX...
mmmm, FOX Magazine, the best one out there, but I don't think I care for it
anymore. This is something recent.
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Flatulation - I fart. Do you
fart? There's some foods that give me gas, There's times when my
stomach is really upset. At times I think it can be funny as well, but
most often it's inappropriate. When you get comfortable with someone,
you tend to let down your appearance, and hygiene, and the stinky
begins.
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Dog/Cat Food - I hate Cats, fuck
Cats, so I'm only going to talk about the Dog side of this. Did
you know that DOG FOOD is 20 times more HEALTHY
to eat than damn near ANY human food? Amazing, the vitamins,
nutrients, fiber, etc. that's put in pet food. Why don't they make
food for humans like this!??!
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Postal System - I think the United
States Postal System is a big fucking rip off. These son of a bitches
KNOW we have NO OTHER postal service, and they rape us on cost. They
raise the prices all the damn time, and not really even improving their
quality and speed. It still takes for fucking ever to send my mother a
letter.
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Cell Phones - This is a LOVE/HATE
topic. I love to accessibility of a cell phone, but TURN
THE MOTHER FUCKING THING OFF WHEN YOU DRIVE, ASSHOLE!!!!!!! I
am SO GLAD they passed laws about this, now if they would only fucking
enforce them. ::laughs:: Cell phones are good.
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Road rage - I have a problem with
Road Rage. I love to drive fast, and slow people piss me off.
Move out of my way when I'm driving. I think you should LOOSE your
license at the age of 55! HA, slow fuckers, say good bye. By the
time I'm 55 I will have a limo driver, and no more Road Rage.
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Domestic Violence - I don't believe
in hitting women. I have only hit a Girlfriend once, when she smacked
the shit out of me, it was a reflex then. I don't like it, I don't
think you should be a moron and let her kick your ass, but I don't believe
in Domestic Violence. They are fragile, and easily hurt... don't
do it.
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Monty Python - I love these
guys! I have 3 of their major movies and I think they are
gods! Monty Python was supposed to get together in 2002 and put
out an Anniversary movie. They would have the 7th character as an urn,
since he passed on. ::laughs:: Those guys are a fucking riot!
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Landlords - I don't think I have
ever had a Landlord I ever really liked. Some are human and have
feelings too, but for the most part, they are complete assholes. Scum
lords is what some of them should be called for the way they let their
complexes go into the ground.
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Grocery Stores - I don't even know
why I put this damn topic down, I made this list some few weeks ago and
nothing comes to mind right now. ::laughs:: sorry.
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The Ozone - I don't support Green
peace and every other liberal group. I do however think we're fucking
this planet up with all of the shit we do. We, as Humans, as co-habitors
on this planet, have a right to preserve things, and not throw it so out of
the circle. There's a chain of life in place for a
reason.
-
Recycling - Yes. This goes
with the topic ubove, Recycle your glass, papers, and plastics. Make
sure you do as much as you can to keep this planet around as much as
possible. Pick that shit up off of the streets and throw it in the
proper bin so it can be recycled and save some damn money.
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Fantasies - I am a man. I have
fantasies just like any other man. Well, theres some of you fucking
freaks out there who want to do other things, but I think i'm pretty kinky
as well. I love a woman's feet, ass, bellybuttons, ears, hands, and
eyes. Since I've already done the 3-sum with 2 women, I guess my
fantasy is 3 women. lol
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Fetishes - I have a foot
fetish. I don't know, but I think feet are very sexy. I love to
wash and massage a woman's foot, showing her a world of new emotions.
I'd lick and suck on her toes, but I don't know about fucking the foot
though, that's a little overboard maybe. But I do like feet, and have
a few pics of friends feet. hehe
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Car Stereo's - I hate when some
little white wanna be pulls up next to us in his piece-of-shit Honda
blasting some god damn rap shit. I want to get out of my car and beat
the shit out of him and bust up his radio. I guess it's more of the
music as opposed to the decibels, because I love METAL loud as
well.
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Bug Spray - Good shit man. I
even like the way it smells now. It used to kill every damn thing in
the house. ::laughs:: Try to spray some on a bug ad kill all of
the plants, animals, and the people spraying it. They have come along
way, especially with the flying insect one. I try to kill em all, damn
bee's.
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The Flu Shot - What the fuck were
they thinking when they thought this up? I know the humans immune
system can adapt and eventually defeat it, but to actually put a
"live" virus inside you, would normally give you the flu.
Only recently do they give you a "non-live" virus so your system
can build anti-bodies. Fucking Doctors.
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Public Transportation - You meet
some FUCKED UP people on Public Transportation. I used to live in
Chicago for 26 years and until I got a car I had to take a bus, it was
weird. If you weren't ducking bullets from fucking gang bangers, you
were avoiding freaks who wanted to touch you. ::laughs::
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Cigarettes - NO
SMOKING! Fuck you, put it out! You're fucking up my air
with your bullshit smoke. I don't give a shit about your fucking
rights to do what you want to, you're infringing on my rights to breath
clean air. I think smoking is nasty, and wont even fucking think about
kissing you with a cigarette in your hand or mouth. I love my Mother
to more than anything in the world, but she has smoked all my life, I
fucking hat that shit.
-
Audio Media - I have become a
complete MP3 whore lately. Since Napster, WinMX, Audio Galaxy and
KaZaA have come out. I must have over 3,000 mp3's on my
computer. It's free music and probably the best idea to come out, as
far as audio media, to date. I love music.
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Hard Candy - I have never been one
for Hard Candy, and I fucking HATE listening to people chew on it. I
know a few people who sound like they have a god damn AMPLIFIER in their
mouth, it's so loud. Damn it is annoying to hear someone chew hard
candy.
-
Eating Dinner - It's even
MORE ANNOYING to hear anyone chew AT ALL. Chew
With your FUCKING Mouth Shut! I don't give a shit if it's HOT,
COLD, SPICY or whatever, you should have taken a smaller bite. It is
rude, and shows you don't have any manners at all. If you were my
child, I'd smack you across the jaw like my Father used to.
::laughs:: We learnt not to do it either.
-
Picking Your Nose - I have been
caught a time or two with a digit in the canal, but I have NEVER eaten one
of those damn things. I tend to use a napkin or Kleenex while digging,
but I get sick if I see you put that puppy in your mouth. I know for a
damn fact I won't kiss you if you like to taste your finger after it's been excavating.
Just make sure you don't wipe it on my damn car seat also, I HATE THAT SHIT.
-
Stucco - Some moron who was too god
damn lazy to paint the ceiling once a year came up with this idea.
This guy should be smacked upside the fucking head. It is easy to
remove and put back on if you're in the stucco business, but for the average
repairs of a doorknob going through a wall, it looks really shitty.
Stupid ass Idea.
-
Air Conditioning - I
love it.
-
Magnets - This is the weirdest and
one of the most unique inventions I can think of. It is a metallic
substance that sticks to other metallic substances through opposite electron
flow.
-
Paper Clips - Who ever thought of a
Paper Clip is one lazy bastard. Rich, but lazy as hell. It is a
good invention and something that everyone in the professional fields use to
bind paperwork together without staples. Who cares.
-
Liquid Paper - This is almost as
good as Duck Tape. It saves your ass on legal documents and saves a
lot of headaches. Just remember to turn the paper over and white out
the backside of the paper on the same spot or they can just turn it over and
read it. A little trick I learnt in High School. Got me in
trouble a few times. -laughs-
-
Planner Books - Just another Anal
Invention for the business people. I was dating a woman who had a
planner and she took it damn near everywhere she went. It had her
fucking life in it down to the hour. People who are this organized
need to be brought out back and have the shit kicked out of them. Fuck
man, Live Life!
-
Pet Peeves - I fucking hate it when
you make noise while you chew. Not YOU in particular, anyone!
Well, unless you do it too. Scrapping your teeth on the damn form when
you take the food off of it, Chewing BIG bites of crunchy food, and Biting
the chip in half then chewing with your mouth open. I
WANT TO SUFFOCATE YOU when you do that. NO NOISE when you
eat. I got that from my father, it drives me fucking nuts.
-
Chewing On Ink pens
- I'll smack the ink pen out of your mouth if you chew on it around
me. I will politely ask you not to one time, and then watch out. I
know people have oral fixations, as do I, but this is a foolish thing to
do. Take care of your damn teeth. Don't chew on things that
weren't meant to be chewed on. Its ignorant and fucks up your
teeth.
-
Family - Blood is Thicker than
Water. Nothing should come between you and your family. You're
going to disagree, and fight, argue, and maybe kick each others ass...
but you still stick with Family. I have two younger brothers who I
used to beat up as a kid, and have even fought with as an adult, but I love
them two more than anything. I'd do anything in the world for
them.
-
The In-Laws - I'm too young to be
married. Yeah, I think I told you I was 32... but still. I
don't plan on settling down anytime soon and having a family. Unless,
this one girl I know wants to, then all bets are off, I completely adore
her. -sighs- This means I don't have to worry about any fucking
In-Laws... -laughs- not anytime soon. heh
-
Valentines Day - A fucking lame ass
Holiday for Couples. Blah! Don't get me wrong, if you're in love
and want to buy your mate something...buy your mate something. Why
wait for a particular day of the year to get them gifts? Its
crazy. The candy companies make a fucking fortune off of the big three
"couples" holidays.
-
Holidays - I celebrate
Holidays. Satanists have Holidays. The most
important one being my own BIRTHDAY. Without it, I would not be here
and able to celebrate anything, eh? There's a lot of Holidays
Satanists choose to recognize, and believe me, its not xmas and easter...
-laughs- Walpurgisnacht, Solstices, Equinoxes, Halloween are just a
few.
-
Sweetest Day - See Valentines
Day, This is a Couples Holiday that's a waste of fucking money.
-
Microwaves - The Greatest invention
for Singles in the world. This life saves feeds you and keeps you
happy. Plop something in there and it will make it hot and ready
to eat... Easy Mac, Hotdogs, and Burrito's are perfect Microwave food.
-
Jealousy - I like jealous women, It
lets me know you like what you've got and want to keep it. It shows
passion and aggression, a couple characteristics I look for in a mate.
Too much of anything can be a bad thing, and the same applies to
Jealousy.
-
Diseases - I am disease free and
would like to stay that way the rest of my life. I have always used
rubbers on women I don't know. The U.S. ARMY does extensive blood work
and tests, I assure you I am clean. lets fuck!
-
Multiple Personality Disorders
- I have one of these, but I don't always agree with myself. It's
not an easy thing to get a handle on. I have never been properly
diagnosed, or medicated so I doubt it's anything to be concerned
about. Everyone has a quirk or two, mine just happens to be a few more
than normal.
-
Responsibility - I have always
responsibility should be given to the responsible, and those who are weak
and can't live up to their end of the bargain should be slain. I don't
trust people enough to empower them, but once it has been done you had
better not let me down or you wont get it again. Burn me once, fuck
you. Burn me twice, you are dead to me.
-
Liars - I fucking hate Liars!
I don't think there's ever a justifiable reason to lie. Once you tell
a lie, even a little white lie, you have to lie from that point on to cover
up that lie. It's the snowball affect and simply not worth it.
Always be honest even if it hurts.
-
Lawyers - Need to be gathered up and
fucking shot. If it weren't for Lawyers there would be no god damn
activists, feminists, political agendas, or criminals taking you to court
for you harming them while they were attempting to rob your
house.
-
Ku Klux Klan - I am not a
racist. I don't agree with segregation. There's plenty white
trash to fuck everything up just the same. I think everyone who isn't
a Satanists should die. A Satanist if a FREE THINKING and OPEN MINDED
individual... Kill All Of The Racists And Start
Over From Scratch!
-
Activist Groups - I am sure some of
them might have a valid point for their existence. But having served
in the United States ARMY I can assure you none of them could ever stand up
to to the U.S. Military. We would so kick the living shit out of
them. I am a proud American Satanist and stand before my
Country. I may not always agree with the leaders and their agenda, but
they will have my support until the day I die. It disgusts me how many
Americans are not patriotic. Get the fuck out, go to another Country.
-
Family Gatherings - Always turn into
a drunken fucking mess. I have a redneck family who likes to get
together, roast a pig, and drink cases upon cases of beer. It always
turns into an arguing match about politics, cars, or some stupid shit.
I have never been to a family gathering that went smooth and I actually
enjoyed.
-
Stalkers - I love stalkers. It
is the single most flattering thing in the world. It might freak out a
few people, but I am a 6' 225lb man and can surely handle
myself. There's this freak stalker where I work and I make fun
of her. Flirt with all kinds of women I work with while she's in the
room and make sure she can hear the entire conversation.
-laughs- she is amusing.
-
Fast Food - ARBY's is the
best. I go to the other places, but arby's is just roast beef.
Nothing is grilled or fried in grease. I think its a hell of a lot
healthier. Most people need to simply keep fucking driving by because
their car is already tilting to one fucking side. Loose some god damn
weight, not solidify the fat cells even more!
-
Beef vs. Soybean - Who in the hell
invented soybean and why is it being used as a substitute? FUCK
THAT SHIT MAN! Give me some fucking RED MEAT! I cant go a
week without having something! I eat meat all the
time. Beef, Pork, Chicken, Deer, Lamb, it's all good to
me. I don't care how its cooked up either, I'll eat it. heh
-
Cloning - I'd be 100% for
cloning. Think of the possibilities they can come up with. To be
able to cure blood/plasma for example. They would never run out and it
will always be 100% clean. To be able to clone Humans would be awesome
also... I'd want to order me a few of them that looked like
Dana. -chuckles-
-
D.N.A. - Isn't it simply amazing how
much information is in a drop of blood. They can pull up files on a
unsolved murder, cold calls, and simply run a modern test on the DNA and
find the killer. It's incredible the things we can do with DNA.
It ties together with cloning.
-
Talk Shows - I hate them. I
used to watch them every now and then, but they're all the same. I
have a fucked up life, and my family is just as bad as anyone that's ever
been on a talk show....why would I want to see it again? Come On!!!
-
Gangs - I used to be a fucking
banger when I was a kid. I would go around and patrol the turf and
when the opposing gangs would come around we'd all gather up and bang some
heads. It's nothing like it used to be, real fights instead of gun
wars. It's crazy these days. But, if you were to take a
Modern Gang Banger and drop him off on one of the corners in a big city,
he'd cry for mommy. they're pussies.
-
The Mob - I would love to me a made
man. I am not Italian, but it's such a thrill. It would be
compared to being a Vampire. I'd want to do it for all of the reasons,
not just some of them. I can handle it, and would be good at my
job. heh.
-
Union Workers - Fuck The
Union! It is even harder to fire some useless piece of shit who is in
a Union. You pay your fucking dues every month and they really don't
do shit for you. I've never been in one and have never heard anything
good about them.
-
Tattoo's - I have a couple. I
think they're very sexy. I think everyone should experience a few of
them. Especially women on the small of their back, something sexy to
look at while fucking them from behind.
-
Piercing(s)
- I am all for body modifications. I think they're sexy also. I
want my mate to get both of her nipples, belly button and her clit
pierced. It's just super sexy to see all the rings when I'm between
her legs sucking on her clit. I want to get my nipples pierced and a
few other places... of course I'd pierce anything for her... I
only hope she doesn't want my cock pierced.
-
Broken Bones - I have NEVER broken a
bone. I have a lot of cuts and cool scars, and I sprained some body
parts, but I have never broken anything. I'm not really into extreme
sports, and haven't really "lived" an adrenaline filled life to
take those chances.
-
Friends - I have a lot of
friends. I'm a people person and can get along with all walks of
life. I talk to them and treat them the way they should be treated,
they respect this. Friends should be life long and never leave your
side. You will argue, disagree, and fight with friends... but
you should always be honest with your friends.
-
Long Distance Relationships - I
think they suck ass. I have been in a few, and they have been
wonderful. I would much rather hit the big time and be able to move
where ever I want. They can work out. It is possible to have a
LDR and be happy. I look forward to meeting them and give it my
all. <3
-
Pedophiles - I
have a couple acquaintances from America Online who are pedophiles and are
currently serving jail time for this. A pedophile is an Adult who has
sex with Children. I'm not talking about Teenagers, because Teenagers
are legal in most states. In some states the legal age is 15.
The rest might be 16, or 17... but it's NOT a crime.
Christianity is the one who alters the perception of age and makes it a
crime. In the 1700's and 1800's you were a full grown man at 21.
You had a wife, kids, and owned property back in those days... where
did this go? blah.
-
Alcoholism
-
I have an Alcoholic Father. All my life he was a drunk and a
gambler. I never heard "I love you" from him unless he came
home drunk off his ass. I was never abused or neglected, but it was
still something I'd never wish on anyone. I drink socially, and enjoy
drinking but I will never allow myself to be like my father.
-
Apathy - I feel I am growing towards
this state of mind. I have become calloused to the ways of people and
society, and could care less if I never interacted with anyone ever
again. It's a state of uncaring and unconcern I wish to grow into.
-
Chew Toys - A Great thing to have
around so the damn dogs/cats don't chew your furniture all to hell. I
want a chew toy or two, but it comes in the shape of a little female in
Hawaii. -grins-
-
Remote Controls - Something all MEN
should have control of. Women need to leave the fucking remote alone,
and go find something else to control. I have three remotes on my
couch. TV, VCR, and PS2/DVD Remotes.
-
Pornography - I love it.
There's nothing more beautiful than a nude woman. Well, maybe two or
more nude women, but you know what I mean. I must have some 15,000+
images on my hard drive and look for new images every single day. It's
incredible.
-
Laser Surgery - To be able to fix
your eyes, LASICS, or to remove a Tattoo, LIGHT, is very cool. I think
the technology we're evolving into has grown smaller, faster, and greater
than previous years.
-
R.P.G.'s
- I have played Role Playing Games all my life. When I was a Teenager
I would get together with a handful of friends and play Dungeons &
Dragons for hours, and at times the entire weekend. I don't believe
the bullshit about it corrupting the youth mind and being a form of devil
worship... the church can kiss my ass with all of their fucking
stories. I think Role Play is a vital part of life, and can be
incorporated into a sex life as well. Fantasies can be acted out, this
is also called Role Play.
-
Anal/Oral Sex
- I am an avid fan or Oral/Anal sex. I love pleasing a woman and the
biggest thrill in the world is having her cum in your mouth. To find a
woman who enjoys giving head and takes it in the ass is difficult, but not
uncommon. I now a lot of women who say Anal sex hurts, and I am sure
it did for them when they tried it. Your Mate did something
wrong. If you start out with one finger, use a lot of lube, and move
to two fingers and then to your cock... taking your time, let it
loosen up and not just shove that cock in there...it wont hurt.
-
B.B. Guns
- I have recently purchased a WALTHER PPK/S and it is awesome. It's an
exact replica of the one the British Special Forces use. It has
blowback and a 15 shot clip. It is weighted correctly, and comes in
all black. It has really gotten me into wanting a real
handgun. My first handgun will be a COLT .45, Model
1911.
-
More will be added or edited as I think of them...
